I signed myself out for the first time on Monday the 30th. So that was totally wicked. Then later that day I wrote myself my own bus note to go home on Justin's bus and do a photography project with him so that was coolio. Shot the project near a pond and then had some fun in the woods. And by "some fun" I really mean "quite a lot of fun". Really. Excepting the cuts and bruises on my legs and the feeling lost in my feet it was quite enjoyable. Although I would definitely vote in favour of a warmer climate next time.
Then on Tuesday the 31st I decided to just cut the whole day and so I borrowed Justin's cell phone and called in sick. Totally awesome. So we pretty much spent the whole day in the darkroom. And we also had some fun in there too . . . . Dunno if you really want to know this but I'm going to tell you anyways. When I got home I had to scrub my butt for a while to get the whole chemically sensation out. Well, ok, not really a sensation, just a knowledge that it was there, you know?? But good fun anyways.
On April 1st I went to band and omg my face hurt soooooo badly. I hadn't played for almost a week and wow. I really should go to music class more often. But it makes me feel sorry for the brass players. If MY face was hurting that badly what must theirs feel like?? Ouch.
Friday I was supposed to go and see the Fast and the Furious with Justin but the butt wasn't allowed to go at the last minute. So instead I went to Toronto. My aunt who lives in England is visiting and my mother and my sisters were going up to see her, so I went with them.
Then yesterday me and Justin went to Toronto to see We Will Rock You. It was pretty awesome. It was in the year 2300-something and all musical instruments were banned and rock music was dead and everything. There were groups of rebels who were trying to bring back rock. It was soooooo funny and they had live video screens that moved around the stage but they screens interacted with the players and stuff. It was really cool. And then I stayed at his house for a bit after we got back. It was nice. Me and Justin and his sister were wrestling for a while and that's always fun.
And today I wanted to hang out with Justin because even though it sounds like I've been spending all this time with him, I really haven't been. I saw more of him last semester when he was at Co-op. And I've tried telling him that I miss him and that I want to see more of him but I don't think he really gets it. He says that it's better that we learn NOw to be away from each other rather than next year when I'm going to see fuck-all of him. Which I guess makes sense. But I get so depressed when I'm not around him. Really I do. He's all I've got going for me at the moment. But when I'm with him time just flies right by and I can barely enjoy it.
Yesterday when I was at his house we went and laid on his bed for a bit and just . . . . laid there. Those are my most favourite moments with him. When we just lie together. He says the sweetest things then. And he just takes me in his arms and holds me. I love that. He told me some things yesterday . . . . they were the sweetest things I've ever heard. I hope you don't mind but I'm not going to tell you what he said. It wouldn't be right to put them down in type. It would ruin them. I'm sorry, but I want to keep them in my head, so I can imagine his voice saying them. They were so sweet . . . . I was crying they were so sweet . . . . I can't imagine life without him . . . . I can't even describe how I feel about him. And believe me, I've tried. I've tried to get it in writing, to draw it. It never is good enough. I love him.
That's the best I can say. But love doesn't even begin to cover how I feel. It's so much more than love. Love is what you feel for a pet, or a sibling, a friend. Not him. It's like love times infinity. It's not even infinity. Infinity is a sideways 8. An 8 implies that you go round in circles. But I don't. I just keep going in one long unbreakable line. It goes up and down, but never down enough that there's a fight or I give up or I stop loving him. I don't think I ever will. And I don't think he ever will either. He told me he'd never stop. And I believe him. I love him. And the amazing thing is, he loves me back.
That's the thing that amazes me most.
Justin Michael Melnyk loves ME.
You can't imagine how that sentence makes me feel. I wrote it and . . . . my heart exploded.
He loves me.
So sweetly she bade me adieu,
I thought that she bade me return.
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